To All the Sweets

To all the sweets I loved last month... to the sugar cookies and peppermint cookies, the gingerbread cake, chocolate cake, coffee cake, the buckeyes, the fudge, brownies, truffles, even the cheese drenched in brown sugar... thank you. Your friendly presence will remain with me for weeks to come, I am sure. Your faithful companionship will stick by my side (and my front and back, too) and never leave me alone. Thank you. The reminder of our fellowship stays nearby and I choose to focus on the joy of the moments we spent together and the people who baked, brought, and shared you with me as this New Year begins. I refuse to lament our happy times together... but it must change now, really. I promise, it’s me, not y’all. 

Waiting

So much of life as mom of many seems to be spent waiting... well—  driving, watching, listening, waiting and then driving some more. A new era is beginning, waiting on Elz at Chick-Fil-A as she has interviewed twice and now is turning in   paperwork to begin her first job. I’m waiting in the parking lot, in the quiet, with a drink, enjoying the waiting at the moment.  It’s a rainy day and cars are zipping by on Providence Road. Today I don’t mind it because I know this time next year she’ll possibt be driving herself to and from work and school and all the things, just like Timothy is doing now, and Nathan, Benjamin, and Hannah did before them. Thinking today about all the living that happens in the waiting.

Once Again

It’s Christmas time again! Two years later and I’ve found the blog... what does it mean? To keep a blog regularly would be fun— both now and in the future, to look back on the posts that still lurk here  

hiding  out on-line. Perhaps. What to write about? Lessons I’m learning? Longings? Dreams? New recipes? Kids’ lives? Personal? Or perhaps even... maybe... a business idea? I like it here, but not sure of the purpose. A little bit like life in general right now. For now— 

Instant Pot Oatmeal

Two cups water in the bottom.

Use the trivet, place a bowl on the trivet.

Two cups of milk (or 1 cup milk/1 cup water)

1 cup oats

Set for 10 minutes— remember to close the valve!

Natural release for 10 minutes. 

YUM! 

Here’s my view just now ...

Cleaning up Christmas

I do not want to take down the Christmas tree this year.  Putting away the decorations and stockings and erasing the chalkboard and packing up the platters and china helps to un-clutter the house on a day which needs to be about refocusing and beginning again – but the tree!  The tree wasn’t chosen and decorated until half-way through December and the month was so busy… there hasn’t been enough time to sit and reflect in the gentle light, to enjoy each specially created or collected ornament. In years past the needles were brown before the 25^th and the whole thing packed away the very next day. Today, though, when I know it’s time to reclaim that corner of the family room, there is still water in the stand.  The needles are still green. Only a few ornaments have fallen off. It’s been a fast and furious holiday season, and I suppose it’s better for it to end reluctantly than for me to be clawing my way out of a holiday hole. So January 2 may be the latest our Christmas tree is still standing in recent years, but I’d just like to enjoy it for a few more hours.

How does 4:46 p.m. arrive so consistently every single day? And how am I so unprepared for it every time it gets here? So today, halfway through a cleaning out project in the younger boys' room, I considered again that I should write a blog post. Then I was mentally typing out thoughts as I switched the laundry, and glanced through my emails-- there is a post from Ann V about how a soul needs creativity... And my soul seemed to groan and say, YES. But... then I lost my temper with a child, and someone was rude, and someone else spilled a blender full of strawberry-lemonade slushie and now we have a puppy added in the mix who keeps biting. So, I consider that I need to finish the closet upstairs,and work on those graduation party evites (not to mention planning that party, which is only two weeks away)and fix dinner and check on the puppy and fold three baskets of laundry, and drive the boys to meet Matt to hit golf balls... and I sit down to do this? Creativity, or procrastination?

Ready or Not

So, I really am not ready. But I saw last week a quote claiming that successful people start before they are "ready." This probably applies to people who accomplish anything, really. Responding to a call, taking steps towards a dream, making a change, getting up and doing life every morning. Doing hard things requiring courage, and faith and vulnerability. I'm not ready. All these years of parenting, of being a person, actually, life mostly feels "almost" together, almost ready... on the verge of being right... If I could just try a little harder, get a little more organized, read just one more book/blog post/bit of advice, make just one more list, get up a little earlier... And yet, fatigue and weariness and confusion and comparison overwhelms and leaves me raw and defensive and reclusive and sad. --however-- And there is a however, and an and, that gently requires thankfuless-- anyway. Last month's thankfulness posts were slightly transformational-- if that is possible: can something be slightly transformed? Moments of transformation, really. It was so therapeutic to post about my crazy days and the struggle to see them with gratitude to the Giver, to Jesus Christ, the struggle that forced me to get my eyes off the "verge" or the "almost" of my inadequacies and onto the Lord Christ-- the struggle allowed joy to seep in around the edges of the frustration of life on this side of eternity. {turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light if His glory and grace.} I will never be ready. Never finished, never complete, never enough, never. It is freeing to accept that, and to know that I don't. have. to. be. Because Christ is. He is ready, He is complete, more than enough, perfect. And He is generous, And this is grace. And I crave it.

Deep Thoughts

Hannah drove us almost all the way to her violin lesson! In traffic, on busy roads, changing lanes, navigating tricky turns-- it was this last one that made me ask her to pull over and let me finish the trip. Not because she couldn't handle it-- But because I was a nervous wreck! I'm getting a little better-- and she is really doing great. Those busy uptown roads, though, are dangerous!

I went and sat at the bagel shop and had a bowl of soup and a diet coke to recover. And read the second Hunger Games book. Hannah read it out loud to me on the drive home-- we finished it about 5 minutes from home. What a disturbing story... why is a story line like that so popular? Now I need to download the third book and finish it up so I can digest it all. Life without Christ in a totally Godless society... the depravity of man... and yet, the good vs. evil theme in which I think the author is implying that there is some innate goodness in mankind. Good will triumph... and in reality, I am thankful to know Good will ultimately triumph over evil. Yet, this is a picture of what a society "given over" could become. Scary. Thankful that in reality we have a savior who loves us and is Good. In spite of all the crazy things that happen in the real world, our Lord is in control.

And trustworthy. This new year... I've been thinking our family prayer and focus should be **following where the Master leads.** I'm not sure exactly what that means, but the phrase, which I heard in church on Sunday, has stuck in my head. And, I just want us to love Jesus more this year, and to worship Him with joy and thanksgiving. Praying these things tonight.

I also think my New Year's resolutions should have something to do with keeping my closet clean and the laundry room...