Ready or Not

So, I really am not ready. But I saw last week a quote claiming that successful people start before they are "ready." This probably applies to people who accomplish anything, really. Responding to a call, taking steps towards a dream, making a change, getting up and doing life every morning. Doing hard things requiring courage, and faith and vulnerability. I'm not ready. All these years of parenting, of being a person, actually, life mostly feels "almost" together, almost ready... on the verge of being right... If I could just try a little harder, get a little more organized, read just one more book/blog post/bit of advice, make just one more list, get up a little earlier... And yet, fatigue and weariness and confusion and comparison overwhelms and leaves me raw and defensive and reclusive and sad. --however-- And there is a however, and an and, that gently requires thankfuless-- anyway. Last month's thankfulness posts were slightly transformational-- if that is possible: can something be slightly transformed? Moments of transformation, really. It was so therapeutic to post about my crazy days and the struggle to see them with gratitude to the Giver, to Jesus Christ, the struggle that forced me to get my eyes off the "verge" or the "almost" of my inadequacies and onto the Lord Christ-- the struggle allowed joy to seep in around the edges of the frustration of life on this side of eternity. {turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light if His glory and grace.} I will never be ready. Never finished, never complete, never enough, never. It is freeing to accept that, and to know that I don't. have. to. be. Because Christ is. He is ready, He is complete, more than enough, perfect. And He is generous, And this is grace. And I crave it.